i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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