This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
