More tranny stories later!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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