Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
