I look better un-naked...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Im part way to drunk.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
