He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
