White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
