wake up i wanna do it froggy style
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
