I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
