when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Randomize