Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
