my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize