it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
how drunk are you?
Several
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
