we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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