Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
