Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
