dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Randomize