Quick, to the slutcave!
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
