I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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