his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
