Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
