he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
