i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
the day after is always just damage control
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
