I'm really into asian looking animals
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
