Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
