Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
