Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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