no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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