P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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