I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
