Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
