Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
zippers are such a cool invention
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize