I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
is wine microwaveable?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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