My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
