Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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