Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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