that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize