all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
