You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
