My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
