how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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