Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
