Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
