how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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