Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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