I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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