I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
there is glitter all over my balls
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