get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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