so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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