He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
