Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
This is the high leading the old right now
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
dude. I can hear the air.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
