Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
