And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
