I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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