Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
