I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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