Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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