I'm really into asian looking animals
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
