Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize