Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
