it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize