two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
