was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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