In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize