how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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