I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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