By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
COCAINE IS GR8
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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