I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
