What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize