drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Randomize