just come out here and I will go home with you...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
